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Forums > General Discussion > One of my closest friends passed away suddenly a few days ago.
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Reply #60 posted 03/27/19 12:59pm

peggyon

purplethunder3121 said:

peggyon said:

I lost a boyfriend at 18 and I remember the grief came in waves, like the ocean. I never thought I would get over it, but slowly healed. You are doing the right thing by reaching out and talking about it.

Your friend was young and it seemed so unexpected which adds to the pain.

I just listened to Sheryl Sandburg talk with Oprah about her husband's unexpected death. It was very moving (The Supersoul series). Books written by those who have experienced this, also help me.

I lost a friend when he was 24 in a car accident... He always thought his leukemia would get him...

My boyfriend also died in a car accident. Could not resist racing with a guy who pulled up next to him in a Mustang.

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Reply #61 posted 03/27/19 1:04pm

peggyon

NorthC said:

peggyon said:

I lost a boyfriend at 18 and I remember the grief came in waves, like the ocean. I never thought I would get over it, but slowly healed. You are doing the right thing by reaching out and talking about it.

Your friend was young and it seemed so unexpected which adds to the pain.

I just listened to Sheryl Sandburg talk with Oprah about her husband's unexpected death. It was very moving (The Supersoul series). Books written by those who have experienced this, also help me.

Dammit. 18. That must have hit hard. sad

First experience with grief...lost alot weight, felt so much emotional pain etc. But, I was young and able to recuperate fairly quickly.

His parents never really recovered.

Now that I am a parent, I am afraid of that type of grief.

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Reply #62 posted 03/27/19 4:10pm

Deadflow3r

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I don't know if it is just my world but I am feeling that there are a lot of sudden losses since 2018 of people that seem unexpected. I have weird feelings about 2019.

There came a time when the risk of remaining tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin.
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Reply #63 posted 03/27/19 5:28pm

sonshine

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PeteSilas said:



Ace said:




TheTruth123 said:


Ace said: It’s ultimate love.


Are you saying that there's something else? Maybe a world of never-ending happiness? Where you can always see the sun (day or night)?

razz



I believe, and i feel sorry for folks who don't. Especially in my age bracket, I know a man who seems burnt out and done, i mentioned something spritual, i think it was ghosts or something in the spooky place we were, he said "there is not afterlife, only black". to me that just tells me about his frame of mind now, not in the future, i feel for him. Lots of older people get like that and I certainly understand.


When I lost my husband suddenly, unexpectedly, the ONLY thing that gave me the slightest relief was believing I would see him again in the afterlife as I didn't get to say goodbye. I actually wanted to die myself during those 1st days so I could be with him. But a few days later at the funeral I found no comfort when the pastor spoke of my husband being with the Lord. (My husband was a believer and had accepted Jesus as his savior a year before his accident.) I can't really explain it but this experience, this intense grief, has made me doubt the existence of anything beyond this mortal life.
It's a hurtful place, the world, in and of itself. We don't need to add to it. We all need one another. ~ PRN
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Reply #64 posted 03/27/19 7:02pm

peggyon

sonshine said:

PeteSilas said:

I believe, and i feel sorry for folks who don't. Especially in my age bracket, I know a man who seems burnt out and done, i mentioned something spritual, i think it was ghosts or something in the spooky place we were, he said "there is not afterlife, only black". to me that just tells me about his frame of mind now, not in the future, i feel for him. Lots of older people get like that and I certainly understand.

When I lost my husband suddenly, unexpectedly, the ONLY thing that gave me the slightest relief was believing I would see him again in the afterlife as I didn't get to say goodbye. I actually wanted to die myself during those 1st days so I could be with him. But a few days later at the funeral I found no comfort when the pastor spoke of my husband being with the Lord. (My husband was a believer and had accepted Jesus as his savior a year before his accident.) I can't really explain it but this experience, this intense grief, has made me doubt the existence of anything beyond this mortal life.

In my intense grief there was an evening where I had an experience of utter peace, warmth and calm.

I don't recall how long it lasted, maybe 20 minutes?

I feel it was an experience of that deep love that folks talk about in Near Death Experiences.

I understand how you would question an afterlife, though. If you don't mind me asking (I know you are a dedicated Prince fan), how did Prince's strong feelings about it affect you?

I am only curious, no strong beliefs on my part

[Edited 3/27/19 19:22pm]

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Reply #65 posted 03/27/19 11:10pm

sonshine

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peggyon said:



sonshine said:


PeteSilas said:


I believe, and i feel sorry for folks who don't. Especially in my age bracket, I know a man who seems burnt out and done, i mentioned something spritual, i think it was ghosts or something in the spooky place we were, he said "there is not afterlife, only black". to me that just tells me about his frame of mind now, not in the future, i feel for him. Lots of older people get like that and I certainly understand.



When I lost my husband suddenly, unexpectedly, the ONLY thing that gave me the slightest relief was believing I would see him again in the afterlife as I didn't get to say goodbye. I actually wanted to die myself during those 1st days so I could be with him. But a few days later at the funeral I found no comfort when the pastor spoke of my husband being with the Lord. (My husband was a believer and had accepted Jesus as his savior a year before his accident.) I can't really explain it but this experience, this intense grief, has made me doubt the existence of anything beyond this mortal life.


In my intense grief there was an evening where I had an experience of utter peace, warmth and calm.


I don't recall how long it lasted, maybe 20 minutes?


I feel it was an experience of that deep love that folks talk about in Near Death Experiences.



I understand how you would question an afterlife, though. If you don't mind me asking (I know you are a dedicated Prince fan), how did Prince's strong feelings about it affect you?


I am only curious, no strong beliefs on my part

[Edited 3/27/19 19:22pm]


Honestly, I had a hard time with some of his preachiness after he got heavy into the JW so I ignored a lot of it so as not to spoil the musical experience. Prior to that I thought the stuff he put out there as far as his religious beliefs was mostly benign, and contradictory given his raunchy work. Overall I took it with a grain of salt, and just enjoyed the artist.
I do envy folks who have strong faith. I imagine it must be very comforting during the dark times. My struggle with it right now is mostly due to the rawness of my situation I suppose. I'm not convinced my loved one is in a better place when every fiber of my being feels that right here, right now is that place.
It's a hurtful place, the world, in and of itself. We don't need to add to it. We all need one another. ~ PRN
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Reply #66 posted 03/28/19 8:29am

peggyon

sonshine said:

peggyon said:

In my intense grief there was an evening where I had an experience of utter peace, warmth and calm.

I don't recall how long it lasted, maybe 20 minutes?

I feel it was an experience of that deep love that folks talk about in Near Death Experiences.

I understand how you would question an afterlife, though. If you don't mind me asking (I know you are a dedicated Prince fan), how did Prince's strong feelings about it affect you?

I am only curious, no strong beliefs on my part

[Edited 3/27/19 19:22pm]

Honestly, I had a hard time with some of his preachiness after he got heavy into the JW so I ignored a lot of it so as not to spoil the musical experience. Prior to that I thought the stuff he put out there as far as his religious beliefs was mostly benign, and contradictory given his raunchy work. Overall I took it with a grain of salt, and just enjoyed the artist. I do envy folks who have strong faith. I imagine it must be very comforting during the dark times. My struggle with it right now is mostly due to the rawness of my situation I suppose. I'm not convinced my loved one is in a better place when every fiber of my being feels that right here, right now is that place.

I can understand how you feel.

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