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Forums > General Discussion > One of my closest friends passed away suddenly a few days ago.
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Reply #30 posted 03/18/19 7:19pm

Ace

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MoBettaBliss said:

My condolences, Ace

i have had a close friend die suddenly... i never really fully got my head around it to be honest


From where I sit now, I can totally understand that.


Thank you. hug

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #31 posted 03/18/19 7:21pm

Ace

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sonshine said:

Ace said:

She was only 45. It's hitting me fucking hard. Helps to talk about it.


Have any of you guys ever lost someone near-and-dear to you without warning? cry

Yes. Here one moment, gone the next along with the only life I knew. There are no words to describe the incredible pain. Sorry for your loss.


Thank you, sonshine.


Yes, I was reminded of that Don Henley lyric:

And in these days, when darkness falls early and people rush home to the ones they love
You better take a fool's advice and take care of your own
One day they're here; next day they're gone...

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #32 posted 03/18/19 7:21pm

Ace

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2freaky4church1 said:

Poor Ace. hug I lost a friend as well, but at least he was in his seventies.


Thank you, freaky. I know we've had our differences, too, so this is really appreciated. hug

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #33 posted 03/18/19 7:22pm

Ace

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kpowers said:

Sorry to hear that sad


Thank you, k. heart

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #34 posted 03/18/19 7:23pm

Ace

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babynoz said:

We just buried a family member yesterday. He was only 46. I used to babysit him when he was born. That made saying goodbye ever harder. sad


sad Sorry for your loss, babynoz.

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #35 posted 03/19/19 9:37am

Genesia

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I'm so sorry for your loss, Ace.

I wasn't really close to her, but my cousin died suddenly in December of 2016. She was just 29 years old and died of a rare form of encephalitis following a mild case of the flu. She went to the emergency room for a bad headache, but they just sent her home with meds for the pain (since they couldn't find anything wrong). She went home, laid down on her couch, fell asleep and never woke up.

My aunt and uncle were devastated (only slightly less so now). She was their only child, adopted when they were 40 and had given up hope of ever being parents.

The pain will never go away completely, but I hope that it softens - and you are able to find solace in happier memories.

We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
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Reply #36 posted 03/19/19 5:58pm

Ace

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Genesia said:

I'm so sorry for your loss, Ace.

I wasn't really close to her, but my cousin died suddenly in December of 2016. She was just 29 years old and died of a rare form of encephalitis following a mild case of the flu. She went to the emergency room for a bad headache, but they just sent her home with meds for the pain (since they couldn't find anything wrong). She went home, laid down on her couch, fell asleep and never woke up.

My aunt and uncle were devastated (only slightly less so now). She was their only child, adopted when they were 40 and had given up hope of ever being parents.

The pain will never go away completely, but I hope that it softens - and you are able to find solace in happier memories.


Thank you so much, Genesia. Good to see your avvie. heart

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #37 posted 03/20/19 7:40am

Genesia

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Ace said:

Genesia said:

I'm so sorry for your loss, Ace.

I wasn't really close to her, but my cousin died suddenly in December of 2016. She was just 29 years old and died of a rare form of encephalitis following a mild case of the flu. She went to the emergency room for a bad headache, but they just sent her home with meds for the pain (since they couldn't find anything wrong). She went home, laid down on her couch, fell asleep and never woke up.

My aunt and uncle were devastated (only slightly less so now). She was their only child, adopted when they were 40 and had given up hope of ever being parents.

The pain will never go away completely, but I hope that it softens - and you are able to find solace in happier memories.


Thank you so much, Genesia. Good to see your avvie. heart


Take care of yourself, love. I recommend lots of classic films. hug

We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves.
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Reply #38 posted 03/20/19 2:53pm

PeteSilas

Ace said:

She was only 45. It's hitting me fucking hard. Helps to talk about it.


Have any of you guys ever lost someone near-and-dear to you without warning? cry

I haven't but i know that it can happen at any time, none of us is promised tomorrow, sounds corny but it's too easy to forget.

Prince.org: With fans like these he didn't need haters.
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Reply #39 posted 03/21/19 2:42pm

Ace

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Genesia said:

Ace said:


Thank you so much, Genesia. Good to see your avvie. heart


Take care of yourself, love. I recommend lots of classic films. hug


hug

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #40 posted 03/21/19 2:45pm

Ace

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PeteSilas said:

Ace said:

She was only 45. It's hitting me fucking hard. Helps to talk about it.


Have any of you guys ever lost someone near-and-dear to you without warning? cry

I haven't but i know that it can happen at any time, none of us is promised tomorrow, sounds corny but it's too easy to forget.


Absolutely. sad

Hug those loved ones, folks. Don't have any regrets. heart

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #41 posted 03/21/19 2:46pm

Ace

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PeteSilas said:

Ace said:

She was only 45. It's hitting me fucking hard. Helps to talk about it.


Have any of you guys ever lost someone near-and-dear to you without warning? cry

I haven't but i know that it can happen at any time, none of us is promised tomorrow, sounds corny but it's too easy to forget.


P.S. Your signature. falloff

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #42 posted 03/23/19 9:09am

TheTruth123

If you knew where she is, you might not be so sad.

Those of us left here on earth are the ones still tryna get there.

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Reply #43 posted 03/23/19 9:13am

Ace

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TheTruth123 said:

If you knew where she is, you might not be so sad.


I can't say I necessarily believe in that sort of thing, 'Truth', but I'd like to.

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #44 posted 03/23/19 9:34am

TheTruth123

Ace said:



TheTruth123 said:


If you knew where she is, you might not be so sad.




I can't say I necessarily believe in that sort of thing, 'Truth', but I'd like to.




It’s ultimate love.
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Reply #45 posted 03/23/19 12:03pm

Ace

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TheTruth123 said:

Ace said:


I can't say I necessarily believe in that sort of thing, 'Truth', but I'd like to.

It’s ultimate love.


Are you saying that there's something else? Maybe a world of never-ending happiness? Where you can always see the sun (day or night)?

razz

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #46 posted 03/23/19 1:14pm

PeteSilas

Ace said:

TheTruth123 said:

Ace said: It’s ultimate love.


Are you saying that there's something else? Maybe a world of never-ending happiness? Where you can always see the sun (day or night)?

razz

I believe, and i feel sorry for folks who don't. Especially in my age bracket, I know a man who seems burnt out and done, i mentioned something spritual, i think it was ghosts or something in the spooky place we were, he said "there is not afterlife, only black". to me that just tells me about his frame of mind now, not in the future, i feel for him. Lots of older people get like that and I certainly understand.

Prince.org: With fans like these he didn't need haters.
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Reply #47 posted 03/23/19 1:45pm

NorthC

Ace said:

She was only 45. It's hitting me fucking hard. Helps to talk about it.



Have any of you guys ever lost someone near-and-dear to you without warning? cry


Oh yes, I have. My wife died and she was younger than that. First you don't believe it, but that doesn't last long. Then comes grief and that feels good in a way. Let the tears come, it helps. And then you learn to live with it even though at first, there's times when you think, hey, I don't feel sad right now, is that okay? It feels like betrayal at the person you lost, but that's also part of the process. Eventually life will go on and you will always remember this person. And there will be times when you think back and feel a little sad again (for instance when writing something like this), but that's okay too. It means you cared for and loved this person.
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Reply #48 posted 03/23/19 3:48pm

Ace

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PeteSilas said:

Ace said:


Are you saying that there's something else? Maybe a world of never-ending happiness? Where you can always see the sun (day or night)?

razz

I believe, and i feel sorry for folks who don't. Especially in my age bracket, I know a man who seems burnt out and done, i mentioned something spritual, i think it was ghosts or something in the spooky place we were, he said "there is not afterlife, only black". to me that just tells me about his frame of mind now, not in the future, i feel for him. Lots of older people get like that and I certainly understand.


I don't proclaim to know anything about "what happens after we die". I'm an agnostic.


But I have no reason to believe that there's any kind of "afterlife", in the way, say, religions describe one.

But, whatevs. shrug


I'm grieving heavily now because I just lost one of best friends. But my feelings on the matter aren't shaped by any kind of negative view of my life. You generally won't meet a happier person than myself.


It took a while to get me here, but - by practicing gratitude and making other life adjustments - I've been in an eminently happy place for many years now (and I see no change on the horizon).

And I'm gonna take my time
Don't fight that good shit in your ear
Now let me blow ya mind


"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #49 posted 03/23/19 3:51pm

Ace

avatar

NorthC said:

Ace said:

She was only 45. It's hitting me fucking hard. Helps to talk about it.


Have any of you guys ever lost someone near-and-dear to you without warning? cry

Oh yes, I have. My wife died and she was younger than that. First you don't believe it, but that doesn't last long. Then comes grief and that feels good in a way. Let the tears come, it helps. And then you learn to live with it even though at first, there's times when you think, hey, I don't feel sad right now, is that okay? It feels like betrayal at the person you lost, but that's also part of the process. Eventually life will go on and you will always remember this person. And there will be times when you think back and feel a little sad again (for instance when writing something like this), but that's okay too. It means you cared for and loved this person.


Thank you so much, North. And I"m sorry to hear that about your wife. sad

I'd be surprised if I'm completely out of the tears stage at this point.


Be well. heart

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #50 posted 03/23/19 5:59pm

PeteSilas

i don't know anything either but i don't trust certain kinds of peoples, one are people who don't like cats or children, the other is the kind who do not have any faith in anything beyond themselves, i just cannot trust those kinds and like this man, I feel for him because the way he said it sounded like a way that expressed what he was living currently, and that's sad.

Ace said:

PeteSilas said:

I believe, and i feel sorry for folks who don't. Especially in my age bracket, I know a man who seems burnt out and done, i mentioned something spritual, i think it was ghosts or something in the spooky place we were, he said "there is not afterlife, only black". to me that just tells me about his frame of mind now, not in the future, i feel for him. Lots of older people get like that and I certainly understand.


I don't proclaim to know anything about "what happens after we die". I'm an agnostic.


But I have no reason to believe that there's any kind of "afterlife", in the way, say, religions describe one.

But, whatevs. shrug


I'm grieving heavily now because I just lost one of best friends. But my feelings on the matter aren't shaped by any kind of negative view of my life. You generally won't meet a happier person than myself.


It took a while to get me here, but - by practicing gratitude and making other life adjustments - I've been in an eminently happy place for many years now (and I see no change on the horizon).

And I'm gonna take my time
Don't fight that good shit in your ear
Now let me blow ya mind


Prince.org: With fans like these he didn't need haters.
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Reply #51 posted 03/23/19 7:32pm

TheTruth123

Ace said:



TheTruth123 said:


Ace said:



I can't say I necessarily believe in that sort of thing, 'Truth', but I'd like to.



It’s ultimate love.


Are you saying that there's something else? Maybe a world of never-ending happiness? Where you can always see the sun (day or night)?

razz



There sure is. I am unclear as to whether that description is accurate but I do know that God is there.
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Reply #52 posted 03/23/19 8:01pm

Lammastide

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My condolences, Ace.

Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ
πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν
τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.”
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Reply #53 posted 03/24/19 1:23am

Ace

avatar

TheTruth123 said:

Ace said:


Are you saying that there's something else? Maybe a world of never-ending happiness? Where you can always see the sun (day or night)?

razz

There sure is. I am unclear as to whether that description is accurate but I do know that God is there.


"Isn't it pretty to think so?"

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #54 posted 03/24/19 1:24am

Ace

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Lammastide said:

My condolences, Ace.


Lammastide! hug orgNoting you...

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #55 posted 03/24/19 8:51am

peggyon

I lost a boyfriend at 18 and I remember the grief came in waves, like the ocean. I never thought I would get over it, but slowly healed. You are doing the right thing by reaching out and talking about it.

Your friend was young and it seemed so unexpected which adds to the pain.

I just listened to Sheryl Sandburg talk with Oprah about her husband's unexpected death. It was very moving (The Supersoul series). Books written by those who have experienced this, also help me.

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Reply #56 posted 03/24/19 11:01am

Ace

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peggyon said:

I lost a boyfriend at 18 and I remember the grief came in waves, like the ocean. I never thought I would get over it, but slowly healed. You are doing the right thing by reaching out and talking about it.

Your friend was young and it seemed so unexpected which adds to the pain.

I just listened to Sheryl Sandburg talk with Oprah about her husband's unexpected death. It was very moving (The Supersoul series). Books written by those who have experienced this, also help me.


Thank you so much, peggy.

Yes, it helps to talk.


And thank you for the recommendations of the Sheryl Sandberg interview and the reminder that there are books out there written by those who have experienced a similar loss.

heart

"Acceptance, forgiveness, and love."
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Reply #57 posted 03/24/19 11:44am

peggyon

Ace said:

peggyon said:

I lost a boyfriend at 18 and I remember the grief came in waves, like the ocean. I never thought I would get over it, but slowly healed. You are doing the right thing by reaching out and talking about it.

Your friend was young and it seemed so unexpected which adds to the pain.

I just listened to Sheryl Sandburg talk with Oprah about her husband's unexpected death. It was very moving (The Supersoul series). Books written by those who have experienced this, also help me.


Thank you so much, peggy.

Yes, it helps to talk.


And thank you for the recommendations of the Sheryl Sandberg interview and the reminder that there are books out there written by those who have experienced a similar loss.

heart

Take care

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Reply #58 posted 03/26/19 3:51pm

NorthC

peggyon said:


I lost a boyfriend at 18 and I remember the grief came in waves, like the ocean. I never thought I would get over it, but slowly healed. You are doing the right thing by reaching out and talking about it.


Your friend was young and it seemed so unexpected which adds to the pain.


I just listened to Sheryl Sandburg talk with Oprah about her husband's unexpected death. It was very moving (The Supersoul series). Books written by those who have experienced this, also help me.


Dammit. 18. That must have hit hard. sad
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Reply #59 posted 03/27/19 6:24am

purplethunder3
121

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peggyon said:

I lost a boyfriend at 18 and I remember the grief came in waves, like the ocean. I never thought I would get over it, but slowly healed. You are doing the right thing by reaching out and talking about it.

Your friend was young and it seemed so unexpected which adds to the pain.

I just listened to Sheryl Sandburg talk with Oprah about her husband's unexpected death. It was very moving (The Supersoul series). Books written by those who have experienced this, also help me.

I lost a friend when he was 24 in a car accident... He always thought his leukemia would get him...

"Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything." --Plato
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Forums > General Discussion > One of my closest friends passed away suddenly a few days ago.