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Forums > General Discussion > Have u ever wanted 2 leave someone but couldn’t because of an upcoming event?
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Thread started 02/05/19 10:56am

ThisOne

Have u ever wanted 2 leave someone but couldn’t because of an upcoming event?

I’m just waiting and it’s killing me
I know!!! I know!!!! I only have myself to blame but WTF did I just get into!!!!! :-x

Anyway who’s been in a similar situation? And how did u cope??? sad
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Reply #1 posted 02/05/19 12:04pm

MoBettaBliss

i can't think of an event that would prevent me from leaving someone if i wanted out

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Reply #2 posted 02/05/19 12:39pm

ThisOne

MoBettaBliss said:

i can't think of an event that would prevent me from leaving someone if i wanted out



What if you were both part of a bridal party and you didn’t want to spoil it for your friends?
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Reply #3 posted 02/05/19 2:33pm

MoBettaBliss

ThisOne said:

MoBettaBliss said:

i can't think of an event that would prevent me from leaving someone if i wanted out

What if you were both part of a bridal party and you didn’t want to spoil it for your friends?



does the break-up have to be nasty?

their wedding is about them... surely you and this guy can just be cool for the event, even if you've split up... or is he a total dick?

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Reply #4 posted 02/05/19 4:49pm

ThisOne

MoBettaBliss said:



ThisOne said:


MoBettaBliss said:

i can't think of an event that would prevent me from leaving someone if i wanted out



What if you were both part of a bridal party and you didn’t want to spoil it for your friends?



does the break-up have to be nasty?

their wedding is about them... surely you and this guy can just be cool for the event, even if you've split up... or is he a total dick?



From experience it is difficult to tell how badly some people would take it!
You think you know a person until u tell them it’s over - and I just like to keep the peace so I’m stuck confused
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Reply #5 posted 02/05/19 8:41pm

luv4u

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Go to the wedding. Have a great time.

This is not your day but that of the Groom and Bride, be happy for them. Your pissed off feelings or grumpiness is going to show. Guests will notice, don't make the day about you.


After you go home pack your shit in plastic bags or whatever and leave. Break up. Have the bad news after you get home.

Edmonton, AB - canada
Mod Goddess of the SNIP & BAN Making Moves - OF4S
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
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Reply #6 posted 02/06/19 12:46am

EmmaMcG

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Yes. In my case it was a funeral. I waited until about two weeks after before ending it. For me, it wasn't a case of "having to cope with it" though. I genuinely liked her and the reason I waited was to not hurt her feelings. Had it been a case where I felt as you do about it, I might not have waited at all.

It's a tricky situation you're in. On the one hand, you don't want to spoil your friends day. On the other hand, you shouldn't have to be unhappy. Personally, what I would do in your position, I would hold my tongue for now. Follow Luv4u's advice. Go to the wedding, enjoy yourself, then deal with the other stuff afterwards.
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Reply #7 posted 02/06/19 1:24am

MoBettaBliss

ThisOne said:

MoBettaBliss said:



does the break-up have to be nasty?

their wedding is about them... surely you and this guy can just be cool for the event, even if you've split up... or is he a total dick?

From experience it is difficult to tell how badly some people would take it! You think you know a person until u tell them it’s over - and I just like to keep the peace so I’m stuck confused



when is the wedding?

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Reply #8 posted 02/06/19 4:08am

ThisOne

luv4u said:

Go to the wedding. Have a great time.

This is not your day but that of the Groom and Bride, be happy for them. Your pissed off feelings or grumpiness is going to show. Guests will notice, don't make the day about you.




After you go home pack your shit in plastic bags or whatever and leave. Break up. Have the bad news after you get home.



I’m in the bridal party - we both are and of course I’m going to have a fantastic time and no one will ever see what I feel!

As for the plastic bag well lolz I’m the home owner here lol
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Reply #9 posted 02/06/19 4:10am

ThisOne

EmmaMcG said:

Yes. In my case it was a funeral. I waited until about two weeks after before ending it. For me, it wasn't a case of "having to cope with it" though. I genuinely liked her and the reason I waited was to not hurt her feelings. Had it been a case where I felt as you do about it, I might not have waited at all.

It's a tricky situation you're in. On the one hand, you don't want to spoil your friends day. On the other hand, you shouldn't have to be unhappy. Personally, what I would do in your position, I would hold my tongue for now. Follow Luv4u's advice. Go to the wedding, enjoy yourself, then deal with the other stuff afterwards.


When you have good friends in your life you need to consider their happiness which is why I’m going to grin and bear it!!!
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Reply #10 posted 02/06/19 4:51am

EmmaMcG

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ThisOne said:

EmmaMcG said:

Yes. In my case it was a funeral. I waited until about two weeks after before ending it. For me, it wasn't a case of "having to cope with it" though. I genuinely liked her and the reason I waited was to not hurt her feelings. Had it been a case where I felt as you do about it, I might not have waited at all.

It's a tricky situation you're in. On the one hand, you don't want to spoil your friends day. On the other hand, you shouldn't have to be unhappy. Personally, what I would do in your position, I would hold my tongue for now. Follow Luv4u's advice. Go to the wedding, enjoy yourself, then deal with the other stuff afterwards.


When you have good friends in your life you need to consider their happiness which is why I’m going to grin and bear it!!!



Yeah, that's probably the best thing to do.
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Reply #11 posted 02/06/19 9:50am

ThisOne

MoBettaBliss said:



ThisOne said:


MoBettaBliss said:




does the break-up have to be nasty?

their wedding is about them... surely you and this guy can just be cool for the event, even if you've split up... or is he a total dick?



From experience it is difficult to tell how badly some people would take it! You think you know a person until u tell them it’s over - and I just like to keep the peace so I’m stuck confused



when is the wedding?



Next month
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Reply #12 posted 02/06/19 9:50am

ThisOne

EmmaMcG said:

ThisOne said:



When you have good friends in your life you need to consider their happiness which is why I’m going to grin and bear it!!!



Yeah, that's probably the best thing to do.


Yes but not the easiest
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Reply #13 posted 02/06/19 11:36am

EmmaMcG

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ThisOne said:

EmmaMcG said:




Yeah, that's probably the best thing to do.


Yes but not the easiest


Just make sure you tell the bride and groom about how you sacrificed your own happiness so as not to ruin their big day. That's what I'd do. I'd dine out on that for weeks.

Nah, I'm only kidding.



OR AM I??
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Reply #14 posted 02/06/19 3:11pm

luv4u

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ThisOne said:

luv4u said:

Go to the wedding. Have a great time.

This is not your day but that of the Groom and Bride, be happy for them. Your pissed off feelings or grumpiness is going to show. Guests will notice, don't make the day about you.


After you go home pack your shit in plastic bags or whatever and leave. Break up. Have the bad news after you get home.

I’m in the bridal party - we both are and of course I’m going to have a fantastic time and no one will ever see what I feel! As for the plastic bag well lolz I’m the home owner here lol

Both of you do your bridal party thing. After that go home break up with them and kick them out.

Edmonton, AB - canada
Mod Goddess of the SNIP & BAN Making Moves - OF4S
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture!
REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince
"I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben
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Reply #15 posted 02/06/19 3:24pm

MoBettaBliss

ThisOne said:

MoBettaBliss said:



when is the wedding?

Next month



screw that... pull the bandaid off... hopefully it will have settled by the wedding

you don't need to be with someone you don't want to.. not for a month... that's horrible

if your friends are real friends they'll be cool

i'd hate the thought of someone staying with a partner they weren't into because of my wedding

just tell your friends and then they should have a talk to him and tell him to be cool at the wedding... they're obviously close with him if he's in the bridal party

you don't have to put up with this... honestly... treat yourself better than that... it's not selfish... it's your life ffs

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Reply #16 posted 02/07/19 10:02pm

nextedition

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Why fake it? If you wanna leave, you leave. Going to this party and pretending everyting in your relationship is ok, with knowing its not, sounds pretty manipulative to your partner.

There doesn't have to be any drama at the wedding, just go alone, or say you split up but dont want to talk about it because its their wedding and you just wanna have some fun. No need to make it a big thing, unless you make it a big thing.

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Reply #17 posted 02/08/19 9:10am

PliablyPurple

What I am reading is that you are going to stay in a shitty relationship for your friends. That would piss me off if I were to ever find out that one of my friends stayed in a relationship for that reason. If they are your friends, they don't want you to be in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Repeat that so it sinks in.

In case it wasn't clear, I am also in the break up now camp. Hell, the upside is the wedding. Single at a wedding reception? Yes, please smile.

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Reply #18 posted 02/08/19 12:04pm

PurpleJedi

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OMG how do you get into these messes!!!

fishslap

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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Reply #19 posted 02/08/19 1:25pm

EmmaMcG

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PliablyPurple said:

What I am reading is that you are going to stay in a shitty relationship for your friends. That would piss me off if I were to ever find out that one of my friends stayed in a relationship for that reason. If they are your friends, they don't want you to be in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Repeat that so it sinks in.

In case it wasn't clear, I am also in the break up now camp. Hell, the upside is the wedding. Single at a wedding reception? Yes, please smile.



Some people would feel like their wedding day was ruined if they knew there was a lot of tension between two members of the wedding party. Personally, I wouldn't feel that way at all. I got married two weeks ago and I kind of wish there had been something like that going on at my wedding. I feel it would have been entertaining. But I'm a bit weird like that. I'd say I'm in the minority as far as that goes.
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Reply #20 posted 02/08/19 7:46pm

S2DG

MoBettaBliss said:

ThisOne said:

MoBettaBliss said: Next month



screw that... pull the bandaid off... hopefully it will have settled by the wedding

you don't need to be with someone you don't want to.. not for a month... that's horrible

if your friends are real friends they'll be cool

i'd hate the thought of someone staying with a partner they weren't into because of my wedding

just tell your friends and then they should have a talk to him and tell him to be cool at the wedding... they're obviously close with him if he's in the bridal party

you don't have to put up with this... honestly... treat yourself better than that... it's not selfish... it's your life ffs



yeahthat

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Reply #21 posted 02/09/19 7:05am

ThisOne

PurpleJedi said:

OMG how do you get into these messes!!!

fishslap



I blame it on the love of good cock lol .


JK evillol !!!!
[Edited 2/9/19 7:13am]
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Reply #22 posted 02/09/19 7:22am

ThisOne

Ppl pleazzzzz relax already!!!

There's only about 3 weeks now ! I'm coping fine.... mainly because the intimacy is practically gone and so too has the spark so I'm not really putting myself through any uncomfortable situations - it's cool!!!

The bride is a good friend of mine and I'm happy to focas on her - all the Pre wedding activities are fun and everyone is enjoying the experience so I know waiting isn't going to kill me!!!
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Reply #23 posted 02/09/19 1:05pm

MoBettaBliss

ThisOne said:

Ppl pleazzzzz relax already!!! There's only about 3 weeks now ! I'm coping fine.... mainly because the intimacy is practically gone and so too has the spark so I'm not really putting myself through any uncomfortable situations - it's cool!!! The bride is a good friend of mine and I'm happy to focas on her - all the Pre wedding activities are fun and everyone is enjoying the experience so I know waiting isn't going to kill me!!!



ummm

you realise in your op you said

ThisOne said:

I’m just waiting and it’s killing me



so you kinda made it sound like it was a big deal.... then when people offer advice you say "chill out, it's no big deal"

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Reply #24 posted 02/09/19 1:56pm

ThisOne

MoBettaBliss said:



ThisOne said:


Ppl pleazzzzz relax already!!! There's only about 3 weeks now ! I'm coping fine.... mainly because the intimacy is practically gone and so too has the spark so I'm not really putting myself through any uncomfortable situations - it's cool!!! The bride is a good friend of mine and I'm happy to focas on her - all the Pre wedding activities are fun and everyone is enjoying the experience so I know waiting isn't going to kill me!!!



ummm

you realise in your op you said




ThisOne said:


I’m just waiting and it’s killing me



so you kinda made it sound like it was a big deal.... then when people offer advice you say "chill out, it's no big deal"



True but now as each day passes the death of my soul lifts a little and keeping busy and helping friends eases things!!! He's also busy too so we are not in each other's faces as opposed to when I started this thread!
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Reply #25 posted 02/11/19 8:41am

KoolEaze

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And I thougght this thread was about having booked a flight for a vacation together and now you realize your partner is an idiot and you want to break up. lol

" I´d rather be a stank ass hoe because I´m not stupid. Oh my goodness! I got more drugs! I´m always funny dude...I´m hilarious! Are we gonna smoke?"




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Reply #26 posted 02/11/19 1:03pm

NorthC

I once did a safari with a girl and realized she wasn't the one. But when you're travelling through the African wilderness, you don't just say bye bye and leave.
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Reply #27 posted 02/19/19 10:41am

PurpleJedi

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NorthC said:

I once did a safari with a girl and realized she wasn't the one. But when you're travelling through the African wilderness, you don't just say bye bye and leave.


eek lol

By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!
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